$340 Caesars Megastack NL Hold'em

LIVE POKER IS SO MUCH FUN!! (Insert sarcastic tone now)

So, I get to Caesars a bit late for today's tournament and have to be put on the alternate list. No big deal, I miss the first two levels but the structure is so deep I don't really care. I proceed to spend the next 3 and a half hours extremely card dead but I stay right at starting chips the whole time when this comes up. I look down at KK under the gun. Now in 3.5 hours I swear we have had less than 10 hands that didn't have at least one preflop raise so I decide I am going to limp utg for 800 knowing most of these assclowns won't even notice there could be a snake in the grass. Another player limps and the lone lady at the table raises to 3,500. It gets folded around to me and I go all-in for a total stack of 11,600. The other limper folds quickly understanding that I have basically just told anyone who plays poker that I have either AA, KK or at worst AK. Anyways, this lady goes into the tank and starts thinking forever. She asks me "why so much?" I respond with, "because that is all I have". She says something to the effect that it is a very weird play. The good player to my right mumbles quietly to me, "what, there is nothing weird about the play at all" She proceeds to lift up her cards and show the guy next to her, puts them back down and says. "ok, let's gamble" She turns over 99 and I roll my KK quicly and she utters the moronic statement of "I thought that is what you had", the flop comes 3 small clubs and I have the Kc and she does not hold the 9c. So, at this point she has one card in the deck, the lonely 9h. I am only 94.65% to outright win the hand. Turn 9h, and river is a blank spade not allowing me to catch up with a flush or over set. Well played ma'am. I love these fucking idiots who make statements like "I thought that is what you had" Then great fucking call, put another 8k in the pot "thinking" you are a 4-1 dog. I guess these tools are the people who pay my bills but it is just even more frustrating in person because you have a better appreciation for exactly how stupid they are. This woman is a poker dealer, has seen thousands of hands and still does not know how to fold 99 when she knows she is beat because it looks pretty.

I was determined to play tight solid poker today because that is my game. I wanted to let the morons beat themselves and not make plays that are over their head and won't get respected. Well, I couldn't have scripted a better double up situation and I still take it in the ass. On another note if I was a complete prick looking for an angle I could have probably called the floor and had her hand considered dead. At no point during a live hand are you allowed to show your cards to another player at the table unless you do it right prior to folding in which case the cards are now public domain and can be shown under the "show one, show all" rule. But, that isn't me.....I don't angle shoot. Oh, and she let's a big scream "YES" out when the 9h comes on the turn and then has the gall to want to shake my fucking hand afterwards. Ummmm, no thanks, I will just leave quietly and laugh like a psychotic fool on my walk back to the hotel.

John gets into town in a few hours. Look out Vegas there are going to be a couple drunken maniacs on the loose.